Beelzebub Issues A New Command

Dear Selfindulgent Roachblood,

Mr. Roachblood, I am writing to your distinguished and disgusting attention to provide you with a new mandate we are going to give our troops. I would have graced you with my presence to issue the orders in person, but I haven’t the time. What with the election drawing so near and all. I would be missing out on many prime opportunities to direct the masses. As you know, it is such a burden looking after so many souls, but I must admit when I get down to it, I do enjoy my work. The fruits of my labor are always sweeter than I can imagine, but enough about my schedule back to the reason for my writing to you.

Roachblood, do you recall how we used to tempt and lead the mortals in the past? We always had to be two steps ahead of them. We had to coax by subtle means. If we were too blunt and bold, they would catch on, and we would lose our man. Well, you can kiss those conniving methods goodbye. We’re on to the big show, the last act. We can now speak directly to our marks. We no longer need to disguise our means and methods.

If your ghouls follow the right protocol when selecting their target, they will have no issue speaking with them directly. Some of those mortal fools will even invite us to come and talk with them. Sometimes they will even give us offerings. Roachblood, it is such a delightfully disgusting time to be undead. Those little idiots listen to our deceptions with open hearts and open minds. They even mob those who contradict us. 

I once convinced a man that he was wholly justified in placing the blame for all of his shortcomings on his parents. I only had to simply and quite bluntly reminded him that “after all, they were the ones that raised him.” I was then able to enforce the point by leading him to a, particularly third rate psychiatrist. That was all it took. Can you believe that Roachblood?! One line and a few visits to the good old doctor, and he was my man. Thank the devil for this new delightfully deviant era.

I must beg your pardon Roachblood. These new developments have me whirling with excitement and sometimes lose my head, thinking about the feast to come. Now, where was I? Ah yes, the new mandate. You must instruct our little devils not to hide their faces. They are to walk about as they are in public. Yes, in public. The deviants of this era are fascinated by our perceived form. They know nothing of our original form. It is now time for us to use this to our advantage. They have been lead to think that we run around in red tights with horns, they could not be more mistaken. We have the medievals to thank for that beautiful myth. We, as you know, are far more radiant than anything they’re thinking. 

Since they will not recognize us in our forms, it is, therefore, safe for us to now interact with them directly in our natural forms. Of course, you have to beware of the attentive ones, but on the whole, they will not pay attention long enough to see us for what we are. Our radiant surfaces have been deemed sufficient to deceive them.

With this new law from on low, I think we will become far more effective in our snaring of the masses. Roachblood, I trust you will carry this message to the front lines.

This is our age. Let us begin our assault in full.

Until next time you deviant and disgusting demon.

Sincerely your High Commander,

Beelzebub